Marriage Quotes

103. The comfortable estate of widowhood is the only hope that keeps up a wife’s spirits.

^{John Gay}

104. The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.

^{A. P. Herbert}

105. Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.

^{Elbert Hubbard}

106. When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.

^{Friedrich Nietzsche}

107. Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows – marriage does.

^{Groucho Marx}

108. Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

^{Ambrose Bierce}

109. If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books.

^{Alan King}

110. Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.

^{Isadora Duncan}

111. Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.

^{Henny Youngman}

112. Daddy was real gentle with kids. That’s why I expected so much out of marriage, figuring that all men should be steady and pleasant.

^{Loretta Lynn}

113. Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.

^{Woody Allen}

114. Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

^{Marilyn Monroe}

115. If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.

^{Michel de Montaigne}

116. Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

^{Ogden Nash}

117. Whoever, fleeing marriage and the sorrows that women cause, does not wish to wed comes to a deadly old age.

^Hesiod

118. He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

^{Mae West}

119. It’s not always been a happy marriage. I guess I wanted a quick fix.

^{David Byrne}

120. A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.

^{Eddie Cantor}

121. Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

^{Katharine Hepburn}

122. Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.

^{Charles Caleb Colton}

123. Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.

^{H. Jackson Brown, Jr.}

124. Marriages, like careers, need constant nurturing… the secret of having it all is loving it all.

^{Joyce Brothers}

125. Marriage must incessantly contend with a monster that devours everything: familiarity.

^{Honore de Balzac}

126. Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

^{Benjamin Franklin}

127. Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

^{H. L. Mencken}

128. If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you’d have a hell of a lot of overlapping.

^{Mignon McLaughlin}

129. It isn’t tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it’s separating himself from all the others.

^{Helen Rowland}

130. I put my career in second place throughout both my marriages and it suffered. I don’t regret it. You make choices. If you want a good marriage, you must pay attention to that. If you want to be independent, go ahead. You can’t have it all.

^{Lauren Bacall}

131. She’s been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

^{Henny Youngman}

132. I think the best thing I can do is to be a distraction. A husband lives and breathes his work all day long. If he comes home to more table thumping, how can the poor man ever relax?

^{Jackie Kennedy}

133. Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

^{Alan King}

134. A marriage without conflicts is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crises.

^{Andre Maurois}

135. Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.

^{Jean Kerr}

136. Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you’ll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.

^{Neil Simon}

137. Marriage is a great institution.

^{Elizabeth Taylor}

138. The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.

^{Honore de Balzac}

139. Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

^{Stephen Leacock}

140. An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren’t.

^{Sacha Guitry}

141. Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.

^{Joseph Joubert}

142. I always remembered that when I saw people get married they got on a rocketship and went to Planet Happiness, Population: Them.

^{Marc Webb}

143. Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.

^{Jane Austen}

144. In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

^{Rita Rudner}

145. When a marriage works, nothing on earth can take its place.

^{Helen Gahagan}

146. When you have a baby, love is automatic, when you get married, love is earned.

^{Marie Osmond}

147. Marriage, for a woman at least, hampers the two things that made life to me glorious – friendship and learning.

^{Jane Harrison}

148. Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued.

^{Robert Graves}

149. On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable.

^{Emma Goldman}

150. Marriage is a difficult project. When seven years have passed and all your body’s cells have been replaced, you’re meant to experience that seven-year itch.

^{Yoko Ono}

151. A so-called happy marriage corresponds to love as a correct poem to an improvised song.

^{Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel}

152. I don’t think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

^{Frank Carson}

153. I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs, and don’t spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out.

^{Reese Witherspoon}

154. I wanted to marry a girl just like my mom.

^{Michael Bergin}

155. I might be celibate, but I appreciate the wonder of the sacrament of marriage.

^{Keith O’Brien}